Love Language of Marriage 008

8. I have tried, but I really don’t enjoy sex. I am just doing it to be obedient. What can I do?

Lack of interest and enjoyment in the sexual part of marriage is a common problem. Usually such lack of enjoyment is rooted in one of several factors. Sometimes it is rooted in sexual abuse as a child. Adults who were abused as children almost always struggle with sexual fulfillment. Sometimes it is rooted in the way the couple handled sex before marriage. For example, individuals who felt taken advantage of sexually before marriage, or felt forced into a marriage because of pregnancy, will often struggle with sex after married. Sometimes it is rooted in the way the spouse handles sex. Crude words or behavior with little attention to the spouse’s concerns may emotionally turn the other person off to any interest in sex.

The best thing you could do is to find a Christian counselor with expertise in this area of counseling and begin to identify the problems and look for solutions. Sex is an important part of marriage and must not be ignored. I would also recommend the book, The Gift of Sex by Clifford and Joyce Penner, published by Word Publishing.

Thank you,

Monique Velasquez