Love Language of Marriage 006

6. My spouse professes to be a believer, but I see no fruit in his/her life. What should I do?

Two possibilities exist: your spouse is not a true believer, or your spouse is an immature believer. In either case, you may be God’s chief agent in helping your spouse. If your spouse is not a true believer, then my answer to the question above may be helpful. If your spouse is an immature believer, then the one thing you don’t want to do is condemn him/her for being a spiritual infant. In the physical realm, we don’t criticize babies for being babies. The same is true in the spiritual realm. We expect baby Christians to be baby Christians. What we try to do is to help them grow little by little. Don’t expect too much too soon. Babies must drink milk before solid food.

If you were trying to help someone else grow from an immature Christian to a mature Christian, what would you do? I think you would begin by praying for them daily. Then I think you would expose them to simple Bible study materials. You would invite them to study groups designed for young believers. You would not force them, but you would make “spiritual food” available to them. If there is spiritual life, there will be spiritual hunger. When food is offered, some of it will be accepted. If your spouse continues to show no interest in spiritual matters, then I would treat him/her as an unbeliever, and seek to demonstrate the Christian life, while praying for his/her salvation.

Thank you,

Monique Velasquez