Love Language of Marriage 002

2. Try sharing a book. Find a book that you think would be of interest to him and ask if he would be willing to read a chapter each week and you will read the same chapter. At the end of the week, each of you will share with the other one thing you liked or learned from the chapter.

Above all, don’t condemn him for not talking. Create a climate where it is safe for him to talk. For further help see Desperate Marriages, chapter seven, “The Uncommunicative Spouse”.

2. When do I address my spouse’s irritating habits, and when do I “let it go”?

Because we are human, we are different. Some of these differences can be terribly annoying. I believe you should find a way to address these and ask for change. But begin with yourself. I suggest that once a week, you ask your spouse, “What one thing could I change in my life that would make life better for you?” Then to the best of your ability work on making that change. After a few weeks of this, your spouse will likely begin asking you the same question. Now you have a chance to ask for change, but never more than once a week.

Remember, you cannot make your spouse change. However, you can create a climate where change is a way of life. Arguing, demanding, and manipulating are not positive ways to seek change.

Thank you ,

Monique